musings..

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 8:25 PM

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so you've met your ex after a very long time say after 4 or 5 grueling years. you know that you're still not over him. you sat down, had the usual chit-chat over coffee while you reminisce your past. then he drops the bomb, he tells you that he's seeing someone else and that he's happy with that person. you never expected that he will ever move on and live a life without you (not to say that you're selfish and that you never wanted him to be happy but ur still hoping..). so while you get yourself in deeper rut and wallow in regrets, he is living his life.
fast forward.. you try to win him back and in the process you are disturbing the relationship that he has with his lover. you are inciting doubt on his partner and made him think that there is still something going on between the two of you. you won, he caved in. you get to hear what are you dying to hear from him. the one thing that you've been waiting for. he tells you that he is still not over you. that he loves you still but he feels the same way towards the other. pretty sad huh?

then comes the silver lining.. he tells you that its you that he really wants, that he is so into you still but that you just dont make him feel special enough. that he feels lonely with you. on the other hand, this person he's living with right now makes him feel needed and he gets all warm and loved. bottom line he still wants you but he cant be with you. hmmm.. (does that mean that you're both living in lies?)

you feel devastated. your world crumbled. you cared and you loved but its just that its not getting across. so say, its you im talking about here. how would you feel hearing those words?

think.. think.. think..

old and alone

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 6:14 PM

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me: mam, i need you to read to me those tiny inscriptions on the item. these are 3 to 4 digit numbers.
lady: im sorry i really cannot make out these writings.
me: (sigh) owkay, do you have someone who can help you read those numbers?
lady: well, i only have my dog but he's blind.
me: (dont know whether to feel sorry for her or laugh at her remark)


now thats an example why getting old alone seems a very scary thought. good thing filipinos are family oriented and you can stay with your parents at your "ancestral house" for a seemingly endless period of time.

masked

Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 6:01 PM

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"no man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true."
-nathaniel hawthorne-

annoyed and frustrated with how some people live up to the expectations of others instead of leading their own lives. irritated with how they succumb to the taunting of the public and to how they bite the bait dangling in front of their effing faces only to find themselves in deeper rut afterwards.
lets just stop pretending guys. shed off of those nonsensical skin and unveil yourselves. its easier to live each day without having to wear a mask. who are we kidding here anyway?

bawal na pag-ibig

Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 8:15 PM

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the world is turning gay by the minute...

music and laxatives

Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 7:58 PM

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every once in awhile every time i hear a certain song i take a walk down memory lane and my heart goes nostalgic to things that are just too heartwarming to bury in the recesses of my head. i am so melodramatic that i bury memories in songs and would end up longing for the past when its being played again. songs which, if i were to hear and dissect the lyrics, would seem funny and too cheesy for my age now.

i was under the impression that i am the only person who practices this only to be disappointed when the person sitting next to me said she is warped back in time every time she hears the song "release me" by Tom Jones. funny thing is, the rhythm of this song has been used as a jingle for an ad on tv for a very lucrative company for laxatives. and when asked what this song reminds her of, she says it reminds her of her first boyfriend and the day she lost her virginity.

"Oh please release me, let me go
For I just don't love you anymore
To waste our lives would be a sin
Release me and let me love again"

bam! wam! bam! how cute can that get? popping on e's cherry while "release me" is playing in the background and years after, hearing that song as background for dulcolax! laxatives and chastity. perfect combination.

now that i am starting to space out again and suddenly smile for reasons i would like to keep to myself, i am wondering which song i would like to bury this moment in. anyone?

connecting people

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 7:55 PM

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they say everyone is turning gay. steve is no longer interested with eve. eve feels rejected and turns to jessica. meanwhile steve is cruisin around checking out earl, james and jimmy. oh the life of gay men! my friend is even suspecting her boyfriend is gay. blah! and there are some who wouldnt admit and cannot accept the word gay. they are according to them, bisexuals or maya (like the bird). i couldnt care less as to how they categorize and call themselves, im so caught up with my life in the himalayas.

just recently i had my friend (R) text one of my friends (J) to somehow check if they would click. so they texted and whatever. they talked and they met up only to realize they are like distant relatives. beat that! the world is really getting smaller by the minute.

its almost valentines and my other friend (C) would like to take the role of the matchmaker. he planned to have me go out on a date with some nurse (I) he knows from god knows where. i graciously declined but i befriended the guy. since im on a cloud 9 right now and valentines day is just around the corner i might as well do the best thing to do and that is to have my friend R check out mr hottie nurse (I).

now the funny thing is, we thought nobody knows these guys only to find out that people in the office are somehow acquianted with them in one way or another. so when R started blabbering and started gabbing about our little sunday tete-a-tete, people cannibalized every word that came out from his mouth. we found out that the-lady-who-lives-in-a-shoe knows J through her boyfriend. S who's the princess of all the maya-gratory birds happens to know mr nurse I. he claimed he hasnt put a tag on I but i highly doubt that. haha. no offense but im born skeptic! says he knows him way back when he went to the land of golden friendship and the rest is history. vaulted.

despite the fiasco about the guys R is meeting up, he is positive about the outcome of things probably because he has read the book: the secret. positive thoughts attract positive outcomes. just dont let JC get near him cause he always has his way of dampening everyone's spirit.

although everyone is turning gay i still believe that the gay community is still and will remain a minority group. the thought of going out and meeting someone who is not connected with someone you know is close to non-existent already. the community is so small that the same people who are members of the same group know who is sleeping with whom up to the closest proximity that promiscuity is pretty visible you might as well have the word tattooed on your forehead.