Showing posts with label old. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old. Show all posts

im coming out, i want the world to know... gotta let it show.

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , | Posted on 7:25 PM

7

The youngest brother of my friend is getting married soon. Last Saturday night, their entire family went to Ayala to have dinner with the girl's family and to formally ask for the girl's hand. Knowing the paranoid Tinkerbell in my friend, he sent me an SMS.

Ron: I hope no one who knows me will see me in Ayala with my family.

Me: You're just scared that they will approach your family and tell them that you're a full-fledged faerie outside your house.

Ron: That's the thing cause if someone will start bitchin around I will definitely come out of the closet and bitch back.

Me: You should have brought your feather boa with you and start sashaying inside the mall like Tyra Banks.

Ron: Our youngest brother is getting married and as expected I will be interrogated about my love life (or lack thereof) and plans of settling down.

Me: That's it! Lest your parents will push you to join the bandwagon, you have to confess to them that you prefer dicks over chicks. Or do you also dig chicks with dicks? Lol.

Ron: Labad!

He will be the only one in the family who hasn't settled yet -- or decided if he will eventually. Don't worry my friend, we will be here and we can grow old together downing barrels of vodka and what have yous.

the distinctions of men and sea critters on a sunday night

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 8:41 PM

4

It’s been awhile since I started my hiatus from going to bars and dancing to the beat of eargasmic music like a totally inept person (I know, I suck at dancing).

So since I promised a friend that I will finally come out of my cave, I tagged along last Sunday to yet another bingeing with them. (My friends are so good with punishing their livers almost every weekend.)

After an hour or so of howling like a pack of deranged hyenas at a videoke shop, we decided to check out the infamous Numero Doce. For a Sunday, the place was still packed with regular drunkards.

They spotted some of their friends, made some beso and finally settled next to two guys whose names I can no longer recall. The middle-aged guy was a doctor and the other one was a nurse who was able to smite my friends heart faster than he can spell f-c-u-k. That’s another blog entry of course.

While everyone was busy nursing on their beers, I just sat there and scanned the place for anyone interesting. For some reason my radar wont pick up anyone worth the attention within a 50 mile radius. Tsk…tsk… I feel so out of place. So I started a conversation with the person to my right.

Me: For a Sunday, the place is still peopled with all these butterflies or whatever you call them.

Friend: Yeah! Look at those prawns! (pasayans).

Me: I know right. This place is like an extension of District 9.

Friend: So you’ve seen the movie?

Me: Yeah! Went to see the flick instead of UP.

Friend: And look at those old closet fags. I think they’ve just realized that Numero Doce is their kind of place. They look so straight acting but look at how they sway their hips. (Incidentally, Single Ladies was booming in the background.)

Me: Haha. You are such a bitch!


Most of my friends are mean and their meanness comes really handy when you’re bored and in dire need of entertainment.

Friend: Look at that guy. I swear he looks like Manny Pacquiao.

Me: Buang! So if guys with hot bodies with not so pleasant to look at faces are called prawns, what do you call his type? (referring to Mr. Manny)

Friend: They are the sea urchins! They are still part of the food chain although they are at the very bottom. When one is inebriated, the sea urchins go up a notch in the food chain and seem to blend with the prawns. One wouldn’t make out the difference and by then it wouldn’t matter anyway.


And true enough, before the end of the night he was gyrating with this random guy who looked at him as if he’s about to eat him alive. Sea urchins are dangerous. In Vino Et Veritas!

the night i felt so old but gorgeous!

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , , | Posted on 8:43 PM

5

I kept on telling myself that I have to stop going out every weekend on a binge. The last time I went out with my three friends, we ended up finishing a bottle of tequila and bottles of beer. For some strange reason tequila now makes me go bonkers. That night was something completely strange to me as I never felt drunk but I woke up in bed and feeling nauseous not knowing how I got home.

The following day someone texted me saying "I wish I was part of the guys you snogged last night."

I was like what are you talking about?? So I immediately texted the people I was with and yeah, they confirmed it. I went totally nuts and I started kissing random guys. The sad part was they never stopped me. I asked why and one of them said "I don't think it would be a good idea to grab you if you were lip locked with someone." Yeah right! Thank you so much for looking after me. I am moved to tears! Kidding, but really I cannot, until now, remember what happened after we emptied the last bottle of beer.

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Last night my co-workers were asking me to go out with them for the first time as they think I don't have a life and I don't know how to unwind. I told them I won't be able to make it but MiKe called me saying he will pick me up and he is on his way. Not to let him down again after what happened earlier, I took a quick shower and by the time he called me up again, I was ready.

We rendezvoused at McDonalds and unexpectedly there were 14 of them waiting for us. They asked where we can drink and dance at the same time. Dance! I could have told them to go to Numero Doce but I don't want them to get scandalized as they are all straight. And whoever invited the bitch from hell made the right decision. Since it will be her night that night and I'm starting to like her. I think she's just a total Blondie... if you get my drift.

Anyhow we went to a bar and everyone was having fun except for me. For some reason I felt so old and I'm the only one not enjoying the loud music. Most of them are already in their late twenties and early thirties and I am like the youngest in the group and yet they party like twenty year olds. I just sat there in the corner while they urged me to dance with them. The bitch started to get drunk and luckily I was able to content myself with nursing on a bottle of vodka cruiser so I can look after my flock. Great! Now I'm also their chaperon for the night.

She started dancing and gyrating with a group of American guys and one of the girls asked me if I can pull the bitch out of their circle as she fears she might become the next Suzette "Nicole" Nicolas who got raped by Daniel Smith. So I grabbed her and had her seated next to me. She sat there for a few minutes and the next thing I know she was up again dancing with another group of guys.

Minutes later she came up to me saying "What the fuck! Those guys are checking you out." She pointed to one of them and said, "he's asking for your number." I told her to just sit down as she looked like a total wreck. I'm just too old for that crap!

Last night was the night I felt so old but gorgeous as one of those guys followed me to the john and asked for my number. I told him I'm taken but since he kept on saying it's just my number that he needs, I gave out someone else's number. Ha!




old and alone

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 6:14 PM

0





me: mam, i need you to read to me those tiny inscriptions on the item. these are 3 to 4 digit numbers.
lady: im sorry i really cannot make out these writings.
me: (sigh) owkay, do you have someone who can help you read those numbers?
lady: well, i only have my dog but he's blind.
me: (dont know whether to feel sorry for her or laugh at her remark)


now thats an example why getting old alone seems a very scary thought. good thing filipinos are family oriented and you can stay with your parents at your "ancestral house" for a seemingly endless period of time.

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