i want to know what love is.

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 6:05 PM


White Horse - Taylor Swift Music Code

"Why is it that the world seems to be so empty even if only one person is missing?"

i woke up and thanked god its just a dream

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 8:59 AM


I just had the strangest dream while having my siesta. I dreamt that I was a kid again and I was holding hundreds of balloons. The balloons have long strings on them. It was a windy day and I was outside my lola's house. While I was holding tight on the strings the wind blows really hard that at one point my feet left the ground for a minute until I regained my composure and firmly braced myself to the ground.

While I was busy looking after all the balloons (which until now I cannot figure out how my dream started and why I was holding a lot of balloons) there were children running around tugging on their kites and making them dance in the wind. Suddenly one kite got entangled with my balloons that a couple of them flew away after the strings snapped.

I was on the verge of crying when I heard my lola called me. She wanted me to let go of all the things in my hands and to come inside at once since there will be a storm coming. Instead of letting go, I yanked on the strings and the kid started crying as his kite got intertwined with my balloons and he let go of the cord.

I never let go of the colorful balloons. I was transfixed on the red, blue and green colors. Instead, I took all of them inside my lola's house that now the house is crammed with balloons and there's no more room for us to move around. Lola threatened that if I wont release the balloons outside she will start popping each one of them with her needles.

Teary eyed, I took them outside and before I could open my hands to let go, a strong gust of wind blew the balloons away. Because I was holding on to the strings real tight I ascended rapidly. I cried out for help but my lola was inside the house that she didn't hear me. I then closed my eyes because I have fear of heights and that's when I woke up and realized that everything was just a dream. It was just one of those weird dreams I've been having recently which wakes me drenched in cold sweat.

sa globe.. abot mo ang mundo!

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , , | Posted on 4:50 AM


She was sitting next to me complaining how her life sucks and how everyone only sees her mistakes and not appreciate the effort she gives to make them see the real her. Why on earth am I even listening to her when to begin with we really don't click?! Then again, I always make it a point to be all ears to people who needs someone as their audience as they rant along with how their life sucks. Not only will they entertain me with their silliness, I also get to appreciate my life and see that at least I'm not as miserable as they are. So I just sat there and braced myself for her blahs.

Then her litany of complaints came pouring in and before my ass could burn a hole on my chair I excused myself to grab something to drink. Her issues made my throat pretty parch as the Sahara. She has a lot of baggage in life and I've got no plans of taking some of it for her but if having someone listen to her would help, again... I'm all ears.

So her recital of discontent continued before I could sit down again and from afar I could see her partner officer looking at me questioningly as to what's wrong with her. I just gave her a wink and she understood that I got her matey in control.

But when she segued to her love life issue I sort of lost control of everything. Not another one please!

Good thing someone called me out for assistance. So I got the chance to stand again and leave her. Then I heard my phone beep inside my pocket. I snatched it out and read the message.

from: 2977
may sweet bf or gf waiting 4 u! dial *033021 for virtual bf or *0330022 for virtual gf now! save d no. and call daily! P5/call.

Wow! Globe did it again! They always come up with brilliant ideas, yes?! I forwarded the message to her and within minutes she started laughing.

the night i felt so old but gorgeous!

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , , | Posted on 8:43 PM


I kept on telling myself that I have to stop going out every weekend on a binge. The last time I went out with my three friends, we ended up finishing a bottle of tequila and bottles of beer. For some strange reason tequila now makes me go bonkers. That night was something completely strange to me as I never felt drunk but I woke up in bed and feeling nauseous not knowing how I got home.

The following day someone texted me saying "I wish I was part of the guys you snogged last night."

I was like what are you talking about?? So I immediately texted the people I was with and yeah, they confirmed it. I went totally nuts and I started kissing random guys. The sad part was they never stopped me. I asked why and one of them said "I don't think it would be a good idea to grab you if you were lip locked with someone." Yeah right! Thank you so much for looking after me. I am moved to tears! Kidding, but really I cannot, until now, remember what happened after we emptied the last bottle of beer.

Last night my co-workers were asking me to go out with them for the first time as they think I don't have a life and I don't know how to unwind. I told them I won't be able to make it but MiKe called me saying he will pick me up and he is on his way. Not to let him down again after what happened earlier, I took a quick shower and by the time he called me up again, I was ready.

We rendezvoused at McDonalds and unexpectedly there were 14 of them waiting for us. They asked where we can drink and dance at the same time. Dance! I could have told them to go to Numero Doce but I don't want them to get scandalized as they are all straight. And whoever invited the bitch from hell made the right decision. Since it will be her night that night and I'm starting to like her. I think she's just a total Blondie... if you get my drift.

Anyhow we went to a bar and everyone was having fun except for me. For some reason I felt so old and I'm the only one not enjoying the loud music. Most of them are already in their late twenties and early thirties and I am like the youngest in the group and yet they party like twenty year olds. I just sat there in the corner while they urged me to dance with them. The bitch started to get drunk and luckily I was able to content myself with nursing on a bottle of vodka cruiser so I can look after my flock. Great! Now I'm also their chaperon for the night.

She started dancing and gyrating with a group of American guys and one of the girls asked me if I can pull the bitch out of their circle as she fears she might become the next Suzette "Nicole" Nicolas who got raped by Daniel Smith. So I grabbed her and had her seated next to me. She sat there for a few minutes and the next thing I know she was up again dancing with another group of guys.

Minutes later she came up to me saying "What the fuck! Those guys are checking you out." She pointed to one of them and said, "he's asking for your number." I told her to just sit down as she looked like a total wreck. I'm just too old for that crap!

Last night was the night I felt so old but gorgeous as one of those guys followed me to the john and asked for my number. I told him I'm taken but since he kept on saying it's just my number that he needs, I gave out someone else's number. Ha!


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 9:46 AM


MiKe: Just tell me. Please stop prolonging my agony. Please.
Me: Seriously, are you suffering right now?
MiKe: I may look like I'm just fine but yes, I don't feel good inside.

That was the conversation I had with him earlier and I just cannot keep on staring at those pleading eyes that I have to look away and just pretend to laugh at the matter. How could I after what had happened and knowing that he knows that I know what the answer is. It was hard. I don't have the heart to break the news to him and I just keep on pretending that I'm this elusive lynx dodging every question that he's asking and segueing to another topic to keep him off track.

On the darker side of things though, he has to know. Though it will break him, it will at the same time emancipate him from all those worries and those thoughts lulling him to sleep. It hurts me and you might not know that as, I keep on this poker face but damn, I hate goodbyes.

just getting it off my chest..

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , , , | Posted on 8:13 PM


You going out like a predator in the night to satisfy and quench the heat in between your legs doesn’t help because at the end of the day you still have him to go home to.

Funny that you two are still together. Sharing the same room, sleeping on the same bed and soemtiems even eating on the same plate. What’s this? A playhouse? A game where you get to to play Barbie and he as Ken?

You always say you no longer love him and yet your actions are saying otherwise. You defended yourself saying he’s no longer your lover but someone who needs your help right now. So you took the role of big brother. But who the fuck are we kidding here? Big brothers don’t suck their little bro.

You sometimes go ballistic every time we see someone at the bar who used to woo your guy. You always say you’re better than any of those guys and so you have your boytoy now. Your breathing and walking trophy. Woohoo!! Congratulations! I’m teary eyed and I’m so happy I puked a bit in my mouth.

One thing though, why is it that when you’re completely sober you always talk about leaving him and up to now, after bottles of beer and nights of bingeing, you still go home and sleep with him? What’s the pretending for? You telling us that you no longer love him and me getting to read all your text messages to him with all the “I love yous” in the world doesn’t make sense.

I don’t see the point of you denying your feelings just so that you can turn the tables and make him look like he’s so into you and not the other way around. If you can give me one valid reason why there is a need for you to assert falsely that you’re sharing the same roof with this guy (that you say you no longer have feelings for) but your spending your savings on, then I’d shut up and stop whining here.

I’m just tired of all the drama and you hovering with all those rantings about falling out of love is suffocating me. And us telling you to put it to rest or telling you to leave him tomorrow is no use – because you just wont listen. I’m not sure why I’m putting this into writing and I’m typing in full speed but I guess I’m just getting this out of my chest as I don’t really see the point of denial. You love him (and I don’t know bout him) but if I were you just enjoy the feeling. It’s not everyday that we’re in love. To be in love is just, I don’t know.. something that doesn’t happen to me every day and I’m speaking for myself here.

You are my friend, so hun please stop feeding us bull crap. If you can’t walk the talk then shut your trap and let’s just get drunk and party. I really don’t want to put my finger in and start fussing about all this so please…

Love is overrated? Alright, so it is. Hush.. hush.. Now let’s just eat, get drunk and be merry for tomorrow we’ll be back to work again and I don’t want to intoxicate myself with everyone’s drama.


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 5:19 AM


haven't been putting into writing my thoughts and rantings lately. kind of busy and work is getting pretty taxing now. in the meantime im leaving you with this song readers.. enjoy!

eyespy is on a blogging hiatus...