Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 11:33 PM


"sex has come to be used as some kind of drug in order to escape reality, to forget about problems, to relax. and like all drugs, this is a harmful and destructive practice. sex cannot be practiced at any time. we all have a clock inside us and in order to make love, the hands on both clocks have to be pointing to the same hour at the same time."

~eleven minutes by Paolo Coelho~

i always tease my mokiks saying someday i will become a prostitute. the thought of getting paid after having sex is just so appealing to me sometimes. but darn, he discourages me saying he wont pay for sex. hes a cheapskate really and he wont even pay me with french fries and coke float for a night with me. and i thought i still have a bit of market value left. im just too presumptuous sometimes... boohoo!

oh well guess i wont make a good pokpok either as im sexually unresponsive most of the time. probably my body clock is running low of battery? now im considering the idea of becoming a pimp daddy instead. i just need to polish my sales talks. it may not be that easy but i guess this business is a bit lucrative still.

so if you need an agent, call me ok? Ü


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 12:42 PM


We're on the road
We move from place to place
And oftentimes when I'm about to call it home
We'd have to move along
Life is a constant change...

you ever had that feeling that you're slowly losing everything you have? you try to tighten your grip and yet like the fine sands at the beach it starts trickling out of your palm the moment you have a handful of it. you panic. you try to catch the things that are falling and yet no matter how hard you try it's just no use.

you have to resign to the fact that everything changes. that the only thing constant is change. that change is inevitable! and yet, no matter how hard you try to pound those thoughts on your cranium its just not doing the trick. then you realize you need to wait, wait for the silt to sink and hit rock bottom so that the water will start clearing up. then you can wade your way out of the murky water.

but as you wait, various thoughts plague your peripheral consciousness and you start wrestling with those ideas. you get skeptical, you start weighing things and put to much time thinking that everyone starts looking at you queerly.

you should get hold of yourself and put anxiety on a leash. you have to brave the unknown to find that the beacon of light to cast away that darkness you fear the most. when you find that shining lighthouse, you'll get to see that the things that you think you need are gone but the people who mattered are just there. you were groping in the dark and in your panic you let go of their hands but they stayed. they are still there because you simply matter to them.

so you go back to your normal self knowing that everything is fine now. that though things may have changed and people always go, there are still others who chose to stay. that change is not that bad after all.
PS I know the song is a bit cheesy but i'm just loving it right now.

marley and me

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , | Posted on 1:58 AM


while speedily traversing jones avenue this morning, the person behind the wheels cursed as a whimper of an animal in pain reverberated our ears. out of nowhere a dog zoomed across the street and got hit by this maniacal driver who i presumed, was high on drugs as early as 5 am. instead of making a fuss out of it or playing dead in the middle of the street, the dog just ran the entire width of the road, limping on its hind leg and eventually disappeared at the back of a building.

not feeling a bit sorry for the dog, mister-i-have-bloodshot-eyes-and-im-high-on-drugs damned the dog saying, "piste kang iroa ka! wa ka namatay!" i momentarily laughed at that remark remembering that thats how an office mate curses every time he gets pissed off at work.

then a pang of remorse hit me like a hammer striking an anvil. i sat inside the jeepney transfixed, thinking: "Hey that dog is ME!

i am that dog! not because im covered with hair and i have its poor puppy eyes and four legs (oh! not the four legs!) but rather im a survivor!

lifes a bit harsh with all the bad news and all. love lifes zero and heck my sex life is going down the drain real fast. faster than i can utter the words: wait a minute! im still here. still standing and much stronger than yesterday. smiling like everything is just fine (and i know everything will be fine -- eventually!) and laughing my ass out louder than the deranged Sisa could.

im alive and im loving every minute of it!

im still here with feet firmly rooted on the ground, still upright and enduring the crushing of the hammer and the anvil. im still here and i will be here til i get to the end of the road.

of dating and mean friends

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 9:59 AM


my life is not something i wish to be cannibalized by the people around me, not even friends are welcome to pry into things i consider private. anything sexual and anything that has to do with my heart are off limits to people. its for me, myself and i to enjoy. other than that you can stick your nose into for all i care and we can go along messing each others business to a certain degree.

now i understand that most of my friends are concerned that i still dont have a steady partner til now. though i go out with a couple of people before, it never lasted for longer than a month or two and i never introduce them to my friends. not that im not proud with the people i date but rather because my friends are too engrossed with the hullaballo that one should have a boyfriend cutout from the magazine. they put too much emphasis on looks and think that dating someone who's not that hot or good looking is a social suicide.

i hate to rub it on their noses but they themselves are not that hot or good looking and they are not intellectually entertaining either. haha! i know we are friends but they're always mean towards other people that it gets irritating sometimes. there was one time when we were off work and we decided to hang out at mcdonalds downstairs for a quick chow and to use the free wifi, i saw my crush (the usual chinky eyed boy next door type) and i had one of my friend check him out. instead of just looking at the guy he scrutinized him and he (the guy) was just about a meter away from us. he wasnt satisfied with the staring that he even made some snide remarks about him not minding the fact that the person could have heard him. i was on the brink of going diva on him but i stopped, thinking that that's just the way he is. i would have pointed out the fact that he is already leaning towards obesity etc.. etc.. etc.

i mean, its ok if im seen hanging around with the not so cool people. for starters, beauty is a relative word. second of all, i get to choose who i want to be seen with and if everything will go completely wrong, it wont be you who's going to mope around and cry cry cry. and lastly, you may feel like youre the most gorgeous person there is but thats just that that... you feeling everything youre really not! now looks are of course given consideration but after first meetings i'd likely lose interest with how you look. i tend to gravitate towards people who can talk and at the same time carry themselves in public. guys who are smart are just damn sexy for me!

i was under the impression that i will be kissing dating goodbye real soon but nahh.. im renewing my membership to the dating club. call me?

you had a bad day... you sing a sad song just to turn you around

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , | Posted on 10:44 AM


for some reason i feel more comfortable talking about the issues of my life with people online, mostly to strangers. i dont know if we have some commonalities on that but i just feel that its better to talk to someone whom you dont know but can give you an objective view on the issue. other than that, its good that after the chitchat you can just say goodbye and forget about everything without fearing that someone might go gossipy on you. now i have a lot of things in mind lately and just this morning after being out cold for 2 short hours i suddenly woke up only to find out im no longer able to go back to sleep. sleeping for someone like me who usually dozes off for more than 10 hours a day has been pretty elusive lately. so instead of just lying in bed i decided to go online instead and talk to random people.

so i logged on to my YM account and browsed through the list of local rooms. i joined in and started talking to several people. my attention was leaning more on this middle aged guy who was kind enough to offer his two cents regarding my drama in life. he talked about religion and quoted some verses for me and i really appreciated that. he is smart and most of us would agree that whats between your ears is way sexier than whats between your legs. a couple of minutes of tapping the keyboard, he asked if i have a picture or a webcam and if i would like to see him on cam. i directed him to my friendster account which was by the way, set to private.

in turn, he invited me to view him. i accepted the invitation and lo and behold... instead of seeing a shrink with uber huge specs and tousled hair or a living saint with this radiating halo -- he displayed his dong for the world to see. yes, his junior was happily waving at the camera. what the fuck was he thinking? i cannot believe that someone so sensible was at the same time a pervert who was stroking his penor while advising me. mortifying!

i know life is what we make it and we attract what we think and all that but really.. im having a not so good day today. im feverish but im still at work and my stomach is growling in pain. hyperacidity attack --- again. incidentally, its not just me who's suffering right now. the person sitting right next to me has been complaining about his tummy the entire shift. and he just asked me a question awhile ago:

seatmate: have you had your endoscopy already?
me: no! im scared.
seatmate: me too! id rather have a d*ck probing my gullet than... what's that thing they stick inside your stomach?
me: (falling off my seat)

hmmm... i think my seatmate and that man on cam would really get along just fine.

i want my mama! :(


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 2:14 PM


a friend was off work and instead of staying at home and doing a marathon of his newly acquired dvds, he renewed his membership at Club Dating. so off he went to see this guy i referred to him from friendster. while i was busy working my ass off (read: browsing blogspot), he kept on texting me about his date. how he was enjoying the night, that his date was pleasant to the eyes and hilariously a butch who goes loco over local celebrities. as to how he acted when he saw this celeb i dont know, but i can only imagine my friend's eyebrow hitting the ceiling.

before he hit the sack and called it a night i already learned 5 things from him about dating:

1. friends tramp over date. friends always come before your date especially if you two are not really hitting on each other. a friend in distress is like the oldest excuse to bail out on your date.

2. "dating" is something intimate. its time for you two to get to know each other and to check if you two will click. if friends tag along or crash on your night and your date is ok with that then i guess you can qualify that as hanging out. as to what will be your demarcation line will be, i dont give a rats ass.

3. never set expectations. its one thing if you wish and visualize how your night will end. its another if you expect your date to be your knight in shining armor. its good to hope but its another thing if you expect. youd likely end up getting disappointed and that will really really really ruin your night.

4. possibilities are endless. if your date's friends crash on your night and somehow you and your date lost interests with each other, its best that youre always on guard. you never know whos within your radar checking you out.

5. never drink and drive with someone you hardly know. getting drunk with friends is fine. getting wasted and driving with a stranger is another matter. you might end up at a car park somewhere doing unimaginably kinky stuff at the backseat. or worst, get robbed?

so how about we go out on a date? lets just skip #5 because a) i dont know how to drive and b) im only horsing around with someone from my past.

so call me? Ü

the demise of the cuckoo duck

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , | Posted on 7:36 PM


there was once a very proud mallard. although she thinks highly of herself, everyone thinks shes just another wild duck. she goes about grazing along the pond, living in her loony world and believing that she has the most shiny and beautiful feathers. all the animals in the pond look at her queerly as they know that she might keel over, go bonkers and start having seizures every time she misses her dinner.

the mallard, we'll name her luna in this story, has this feeling that sometimes everyone stares at her as she visits the pond. luna has this nagging sensation that the animals around her sees her as a "cuckoo." but again, she thinks highly of herself and she believes shes the most learned of all the animals (she just finished her graduate studies in one of the most prestigious uni in animalandia) so she dismissed the thought that she is a "cuckoo" because she is a sultry mallard -- according to her.

then came winter, the animals packed their bags for a long hibernation while others travelled in groups to places warmer. (read: bantayan) since she is a pariah in the pond, she asked some migratory birds if she can tag along with them. eva, the leader of the flock gave her her nod in the condition that when she goes diva on them, the group will leave her behind.

they entered warm territories and from the looks of it, the hot birds are getting annoyed evey time luna opens her mouth to speak. she just blathers on and on about how good and smart she is. now dont ask me what they talked about but luna is just plain annoying.

for that, she got booted out of the group and was kind of lost not knowing where to go. again, thinking that shes a smart ass, she made the mistake of landing on a grassland. she wasnt aware that its hunting season and i guess her degree in whatever couldnt save her this time.

suddenly, she heard a loud gunshot. bang! she ducked for safety but she felt heavy on the sides. she got hit! she quickly ran for cover but too late, the hunting dogs picked up her scent. before she could flap her now clipped wings, three dogs ravaged and one can hear her bones breaking as the dogs dug their teeth on her body. she quacked for help but no one came to her rescue.

finally, two hands pulled her lifeless body out of the riotous dogs. between bites and pawing she lost a lot of her feathers and she looked worst than a chicken in the supermarket devoid of its plumage. the hunter turned her round and round and after seconds of scrutinizing luna, he tossed her back to the dogs because shes just not worth serving on the table. so the fiasco continued until poor luna got shredded into bits and pieces.

and thus the demise of the "cuckoo" duck.

now, since youre so proud of your degree, go figure that one out because i-am-oh-so-seeing-a-lot-of-red-right-now. and since i cant go lambaste you or smack your head with a baseball bat, i might as well kill you in my story. oh yeah, you need not tell me im demented, thats diagnosed eons ago. you be the shrink, bitch!


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 8:36 AM


i normally take jeepneys as my mode of transport on my way to work. i like it that i get to punish my lungs and breathe in the polluted air of the metro and at the same time to look at people as they get crammed inside the vehicle. i have this penchant of secretly staring at them while they have this far away look, thinking of god knows what. i take pleasure in trying to fathom and guess what each person is thinking. makes me feel like im this smart ass shrink who turns into an ugly dr. jekyll who would slice people's head to see whats inside it.

this evening was no exception. i spent a good 15 minutes inside the jeepney looking at this kid who was having tantrums and was bawling his eyes out while slapping his mom. the passengers were really bothered about the slapping and they tried to dissuade the child saying they will throw him out the running vehicle if he wont stop. the mother just shyly smiled, said her kid was just sleepy and hushed him. unfortunately the kid was a pain in the ass. an attention whore as most kids are. instead of stopping he cried all the more and i would have gladly smacked him in the head had she not stopped the jeepney and got off the vehicle. divine intervention.

couple of kilometers away from my destination, there were just four of us left inside the jeepney: a grade school girl, an old man, this middle aged guy and i. the guy was sitting near the door of the jeepney so he called out to me and handed over his fare. i looked at the money he passed and it was a shiny 5 peso coin. everyone knows that the minimum fair after the price roll back of gasoline is now at 6.50. he is short of a peso and fifty cents.

thats fine.

none of my business really.

i just passed along the fare to the girl in front of me who in turn stared at the 5 peso coin looking perplexed but nevertheless she handed the coin to the driver of the vehicle. the worst part of it was the driver returned some loose change thinking that what he got was a ten peso coin. the little girl handed over the coins to the guy and she gave him a questioning look. not bothered by the little girl at all, he pocketed the coins. before he went down the jeepney i gave him this look that says i-wish-your-dong-will-fall-off. i cant believe he has the heart to do that in front of the kid and just act nonchalantly as if nothing happened.

"sa mata ng bata ang isang pagkakamali ay nagiging tama kung ito'y ginagawa ng matatanda."

common decency is no longer common. its like a commodity badly needed by everyone now. *sigh*

loneliness knows me by name

Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 9:51 AM


we're all lonely for something we dont know were lonely for. how else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody weve never even met?
-david foster wallace-

they say people can live for days without water, weeks or even months without food and can even withstand a long time of homeless but not loneliness. it has its way of eating you alive. only the brave can go against the greatest torture that is loneliness and remain standing in the end. all of us are lonely to a certain degree and we go out of our way to find the things that can make us a little less lonely.

we go shopping, we meet with friends, we see a lot of people and go to different places but when everything is done and over there's still this feeling at the pit of your being that you just cant ignore. its just there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for that instance to strike and poison your heart. when your guard is down it delivers the coup de grace and incapacitate your soul. before you know it, youre trapped in the darkness, trembling and not knowing what to do. loneliness has its way of sucking the life out of you.

just this morning, i came home to the news that a neighbor just passed away. he was this middle aged man you see everyday holding a bottle of coke in one hand and a pocket-sized tanduay on the other. no glass or a bucket of ice to be seen, he drinks straight from the bottles and "take it like a real man" as they jokingly say it. he just sits at the corner in one of the convenient stores singing old love songs.

he turned alcoholic when his wife packed her bags and left him without a word to elope with this guy she met at a dating site. said she got tired of her life as a poor housewife and so she disappeared without a trace. i wonder where his family is and why they left him in that condition. he got devastated after he lost the love of his life and his kid who was two years old then. he wasnt able to cope with the loss and succumb to alcohol to accompany him in his misery.

i once heard him sang "unchained melody" off key, you know, the usual way drunk people sing. you wouldnt believe that the loud baritone voice is coming from a small framed guy. i guess his body deteriorated as too much alchohol flooded his organs. he looked so serious then and if you know the sad story behind his drinking and singing, your heart would go out to him. today, he was found dead sitting on the same stool, at the same corner of the same sari-sari store which served as his little nook. its on that same place where he licked his wounded heart and sang his heart and soul out to his long lost lover that he never saw again til the day he died.

may you rest in peace manong...

how would you know you're watching a pinoy film?

Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 7:53 AM


im not really fond of watching pinoy flicks lately but i find this email very funny...

1. Sasayaw ang loveteam sa likod ng puno ng buko kapag nasa beach ang eksena. Alternate na lalabas ang ulo nila from behind the puno.
2. Ang kontrabidang babae yayakap sa bidang lalaki, sabay taas ng kilay at ngingisi.
3. Ang pansit, nagdadala ng malas. Uuwi ang bida na may dalang pansit para sa kanyang nanay na si Anita Linda. Tatawagin ng bida ang mga bata para kumain at kukumustahin niya ang pag-aaral ng mga bata habang kumakain sila. Biglang may titigil na sasakyan sa harap ng bahay at pauulanan ng bala ang pamilya. Mamamatay si Anita Linda at sisigaw ang bida ng “Inaaayyyy!!!” at mangangakong ipaghihigante ito. Moral of the eksena: Ang pansit ay nakakamatay.
4. Kapag may magkaribal na babae, ‘yung mabait derecho ang buhok at may bangs. ‘Yung salbahe, laging kulot.
5. Sa Pinoy action movies, ang bida hindi nauubusan ng bala.
6. Sa Pinoy action movies, kapag tumakbo ang bida, sa lupa lahat ang tama ng bala ng kalaban.
7. Kapag may mob na pupunta sa bahay kubo ng manananggal, si Vangie Labalan ang laging lider.
8. Alam mong moment of truth na kapag sinabi ng bida ang title ng pelikula (sample: Isang Bala Ka Lang or Kapag Puno na Ang Salop).
9. Ang tawag ng kontrabida sa kanyang mga goons, “Mga bata.”
10. ‘Yung nakababatang kapatid ng bida habang naglalaro, mabibitiwan ang bola at mapupunta sa gitna ng kalsada. Pagkatapos, may darating na sasakyan at itutulak ng bida ang bata at ‘yung bida ang papagitna ng kalsada. Naka-cross ang arms ng bida who is covering his face. Sisigaw ang bata ng, “Kuyaaa!” Next scene: Nasa ospital sila. Simula na ng drama.
11. Kapag bakbakan, hindi nasasaktan ang bida pero umaaray siya kapag ginagamot na siya ng leading lady. Next scene: Nagla-love-making na sila.
12. Kapag sinabi ng kontabida sa bida ang masama niyang plano, sasabibin ng bida, “Hayop ka!”
13. Ang bidang babae, kapag katulong ang role siguradong iri-reveal ng amo na anak siya nito.
14. Ang nanay ng mayaman ay laging may pamaypay na pang-mayaman at ang nanay ng mahirap ay laging naka-duster.
15. Ang hideout ng kontrabida ay parating mansyon na may chicks na naka-hilira sa paligid ng pool.
16. Ang mga bida sa drama, kapag nakatanggap ng masamang balita laging may pinto sa likod nila para puede sila sumandal habang nag-i-slide dahan-dahan pababa, todo iyak at kung minsan with matching uhog.
17. Kapag hindi nahuli ng mga goons ang bida, sasabihin ng boss sa kanila, “Mga inutil!”
18. Laging nakakapulot ng baril na may bala ang bida kapag kinakailangan niya.
19. Laging mas maganda ang yaya ng bida kaysa sa kontrabidang anak ng amo niya.
20. Kapag ang ending ng movie ay song-and-dance number sa beach o sa resort, ang huling frame shows the cast na tumatalon, sabay freeze.


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 2:35 PM


...i know sometimes its gonna rain,

but baby can we make up now cause i can't sleep through the pain.

girl i don't wanna go to bed, mad at you

and i don't want you to go to bed mad at me ...

walk away

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 12:33 PM


they say words are powerful tools that could either break the soul or uplift the ego, crush one's self-esteem or boost the morale. effects may vary depending on how we say our lines and saying the right words is not even enough cause timing plays an integral part in the picture. so its good to strike a balance between timing and the right words to say.

we all know that rejection is always part of the game of flirting. irregardless of how subtle the rejection is, a no is still a no. but sometimes other people are just not used to hearing that word: no. although it may bruise our ego the best thing to do is not to push it but rather to silently walk away and lick our wounded pride and just forget about everything.

i've been hanging around with this kid (and i say kid because he's still 21 and im as old as his grandfather) and i jokingly matched him with another friend. for some demented reason he is not interested with my friend but instead he turned his attention to me.i've been telling him im not interested with younger guys and that i just see him as my younger brother. im not sure if the message got across and if he chose to ignore it but he is definitely not stopping. he just wont take no for an answer. i tried persuading him to give my friend a chance but i guess my matchmaking skills are not working because he just wont budge.

it gets irritating whenever he keeps on texting and calls me those unimaginable terms of endearment. when you dont reply he would think you ran out of load and he would immediately load you up. when youre at work he would bombard you with text messages and youd end up with 57 messages before your shift ends and then he would apologize saying hes just bored.

i already asked him to stop calling me baby, honey and whatnot because i cringe everytime i hear someone call me that. he agreed but in one stupid condition: that i will be all his the moment he pass the board exam for nurses. just so he would stop, the stupid me agreed and now im really getting annoyed with all his drama in life. that was a mistake, i know but i got really annoyed that i just said yes to all the things he was saying just so he would shut up.

i dont really want to give him false hope and i dont to play around with him, but when you're being pushed to the wall and you feel like being cornered, you squirm and you find means to get out of that tight spot; thats what i tried to do, though it wasnt really much of a graceful exit. we all want to feel needed and loved but i dont think pushing yourself to someone and acting like a total fool will call upon the feelings you wanted to come from the other person. since he wont back off i guess bitch slapping him with the fact that my heart belongs to someone else will do the job.


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 12:26 PM


one way for you to be really happy is to take risks. although these risks may bring the danger of getting hurt, it still feels good to know that at the end of the day you have given it a shot, that you'll go to sleep not thinking about all the what ifs in the world. the biggest mistake and failure they say beats the hell out of not trying at all.

i am in good terms with my ex and though we have our own dramas in life, we still click after almost two years of not keeping in touch. its nice knowing that our relationship right now is way warmer than how we started years ago. he knows i am selfish when it comes to attention and time and yet he's still there teasing my heart that it does back flips and somersaults everytime he says those three words. my heart says go but my mind is saying no. i have doubts and im born a skeptic.

i really wanted to let go and just throw all the caution to the wind and just let myself fall. however with the knowledge that he will be leaving soon, will it still be worth giving a shot? i was saddened when he mentioned that he will be leaving the city soon, how much more if we will commit to each other and spend days and months apart? i never believe in LDR. i dont think it will ever work with PLUs. the day that i told him i was sad bout the news he just laughed and didnt give it a thought. that saddened me all the more.

i dont want him to go but i will content myself with the thought that there is always a new story after every chapter. im glad that despite my being so-hard-to-get-along-with-sometimes, he's still a friend and he knows how to cheer me up. i just hope that whatever the outcome of this thing that we have we both end up finding a portion of that happiness we are looking for.

three month rule

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 11:21 AM


i just saw this film with john lloyd and bea alonzo entitled one more chance. i hardly watch tagalog movies and i say this film is pretty ok. there was this interesting part in the movie about this three month rule in dating. honestly i am not aware of this rule and i find it funny that i just heard about it. it says youre not supposed to go out on a date within three months after the break-up. the reason according to the person sitting beside me right now is to prevent you from making the next person the rebound.

makes sense really but i wonder if this rule applies to PLUs? to that he answered, "i dont think it applies to us guys given that most of us are promiscuous." touche! i've seen friends who were together for months, even years, but the moment one of them decided to call it quits they both went out partying and sleeping with people as if its the last thing they will ever do.

i asked around and its not just me who isnt aware of that rule. one friend happened to know that rule and incidentally the reason she knew about it is through the same movie. i guess im not really an ignoramus in the world of dating... (not that i've been dating a lot cause i hate to go out a date but im hoping someone would ask me out on a date.)

my other friend has a point though when he said: "actually, wala yan sa kung gaano katagal kang bakante... basta sa tingin mo eh mahal mo na yung bagong dumating eh di go...take note...i literally said, in love....hindi yung sinabi mo lang na love mo kasi feel mo ibooking. "

its being politically correct but if the two of you are amicable with the idea of dating after you break up then thats fine, although personally it hurts like hell if you see the other one seeing someone new irregardless of whether your into the dating scene yourself. now you may say whatever you want to say but i think if your feelings were for real you really would have a hard time letting go and you might consider the three month rule of dating a brilliant idea brought about by civilization.

to ricky the bastard.

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 12:13 AM


a night out with my friends is usually a night of bingeing and even a night of hanky panky. i could drown myself in alcohol but im telling you i could still be in control of myself. i am friends with jose cuervo and vodka is my playmate. the people im with could go wild and start dancing with god-knows-who and they could even liplock with you but dont ever make the mistake of treating me the same way. i am bitchy and i bite when im drunk.

ive seen you a couple of times before and i just knew that youre a friend of a friend. we got introduced and blah blah blah but you were so cocky and air headed i could have thrown a boulder at you to deflate your humongous head. you made the first mistake when you touch my bum in public and you should have gotten the clue when i wickedly smiled at you while twisting your hand. i am a flirt and i play the game better than you can. you're just a friend of one of my closest friends but that doesnt mean we are friends and you can start touching me. im telling you youre just another face that will drown when swallowed by the multitude at the pedestrian. luckily for you, you will still stand out next to shrek and donkey. you think youre smart but your moves were futile and instead of arousing my interest i could have puked on your face and farted with your nose up my ass if that were politically correct.

you played it cool but i was so not interested i was comatose the entire time while you were yapping about whatever. thank heavens the music was so loud i was having a hard time hearing your squeeky voice otherwise i could have bashed your head with the bottle of beer i was drinking on.

i wasnt really expecting it but you were still with us when its bye-bye time. we were scrunched inside my friends car and you made another move and put your hand on my lap. you are a stranger and im no friendly soul, i just pretended i was asleep. you asked if i am ok and i said yes and then you made another mistake. you fondled my bald head and said you had this penchant for skin-headed guys. you passed your phone and asked me to type in my number. fuck you!

you are not my friend and i could have gone after your neck and went for the kill but i reminded myself that i should from now on be nice even to bastards like you. instead of opening the door and shoving you out while the car is in motion i just smiled and told you im not interested and that im taken.

never ever make the mistake of making me feel like im an easy fuck cause i know my worth and i will break your scrawny neck right then and there. youre just lucky i was able to hold myself that night. dont play around with me. get a hint and get lost cause you wont be that fortunate the next time. i dont like people who are so touchy i make a fuzz at it and go berserk. keep your distance amigo. this bitch bites.


Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 5:54 AM


While commuting my way to work this evening I noticed how other people can be so crude in picking their noses. I was sitting across this guy who was with a friend and he was "cleaning" his nasal cavity while talking to his friend. I mean, nothing wrong with that except that his finger was already half way in. Gad, I was so afraid he might end up picking his brains cause his bony finger was really busy doing an intensive lobotomy through his nose. He wasn't even using his pinky finger.

I could have laughed out loud because his face was in this distorted angle while he was trying to capture the pesky booger but i figured that would be rude. So I turned sideways and sniggered instead.

Nothing wrong with cleaning ur nose really but please cant you just not do it in public? If you cant really help it, cover your nose with a hanky dude. The worst part of the scene is, after he got "it" he just flicked his finger as if that was the most casual thing to do while in a public vehicle. I wonder where that thing flew and who was the poor fellow who unknowingly caught it.

I spent the rest of the travel time spotting people who are immaculately cleaning their noses in front of the whole world to see and what a sight that has been.

sana dalawa ang puso ko

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 6:45 AM


Boy meets girl. Confesses his feelings but Girl is indecisive. She likes boy but is too scare to give it a shot, probably because of a not-so-good-previous-relationship. Girl's bestfriend came prancing into the scene. She's a bombshell, a bit coquettish and isn't scared to try something new every once in awhile. Girlfriend falls for boy and starts to take things seriously.

Boy and girl knows each others' feelings but this time, things just wont work out easily because everything has gotten complicated somehow. Boy is now dating girlfriend and she is getting really weak on the knees. Now boy is in love with the two but feels girl means more to him than girlfriend. Girl can no longer hold back and decided to free herself from her self-made cage. She ran to boy's arms.

Boy and girl came up with a plan to break the news to girlfriend but things spin out of hand and start careening off to the sidetracks. Before they can deliver the blow to girlfriend, she already had the puzzle figured out and the pieces fall into their respective places. Meanwhile, Girl again got two on her mind about the idea of blowing the news to girlfriend's face. She's got qualms about what they are about to do and if boy is really worth the price of losing her bestfriend. The plan backfired and blew at their faces (boy's and girl's)and bestfriend feels betrayed.

Everyone ended up having nobody. Girl went back to her shell and feels guilty about the whole thing. Boy starts apologizing to girlfriend and was completely shunned, attempts to go after girl but she clams up. Girlfriend is not talking to either boy or girl and feels better to leave things that way. Girl is dying of guilt.

Love sometimes can be so complicated thus the song "Sana Dalawa Ang Puso Ko". Then again broken hearts do still beat and I'm just thankful this is not my story. Im very much interested with how things will turn out in the long run.

I wonder.. *think* *think* *think*


Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 6:07 AM


closely guarding my heart,
my hands holding it real tight
but like the sands in the shore
it still manages to slip through.
nobody's there to catch me
and im fallin' just fallin' hard
and i know that you know
that i am crazy over you
you just smile and act nonchalantly
while im dying inside to confess
but that wont do us no good
so i'll keep it inside me.
i whispered it to the world
and the wind carried it back
its hopeless, its useless, no point
i have to abort this feeling.
though deep inside i am hoping
that wanting you so badly
would make my wish come true
but my wishes didnt come true.
and my desires are shut down
i lie awake in the dark
but knowing that you're not coming
i close my eyes and fell asleep.


Posted by eye_spy | Posted on 12:41 PM


i havent written anything lately and if i do write something its usually just a lot of blah about things i usually go against with. i understand that blogging is one way of venting out your angst and whatnot. your page is all yours and you can write whatever you want to write on your little space in the net. bottom line: to each his own. but how would you feel knowing that someone talked (or wrote something) about the day you got intimate with that person? i am confused really and i dont know whether to laugh out loud as to how that person has seen the turn of events or to feel betrayed and insulted despite him not really dropping my name on his entry.

i honestly detest people who cant keep things private. its like a betrayal of the code omerta. what happens behind close doors should remain there otherwise i will slam the door with your hands on the jamb. i dont talk about my sex life even with friends although most of them really think that i am really that active. i just let them think what they want to think, no point in convincing people who had their minds set that i am promiscuous.

i am at work right now and i honestly cannot concentrate on what im doing after i've read some of the write-ups from his page. aside from him writing something on what happened between the two of us, he blatantly posted about how he slept with some people and there was even a post about how he "deflowered" this young guy. to each his own really but seeing my name on his page next to his sordid cruising made me feel like im just one of his numerous fuck. for crying out loud he used to be my partner.

i know its not his intention to let me read that post but he shouldnt have mentioned his blog when he popped in to say "hi" online. nothing major really but i just felt a jab on my ego. what's with the need to herald to the world your hanky pankies? i just dont get it and im not even sure if im making sense right now but there is just a need for me to put into writing this welling emotion of whatever.