the things you do when your inebriated with Jose

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 5:38 AM

7

I can still remember the time I arrived here and being the typical kid who grew up in the province, I had the feeling that the city is too big of a place for me that it would swallow me alive the moment I start to wander off the streets. Then it dawned on me that the big city is freedom. Freedom from the watchful eyes of anyone attached to me, from home and of course from the infamous curfew.

Way back in the city where I grew up, I was the goody goody boy who from school will go directly home. Never tried anything illegal nor hasn't been into booze or even smoking. So when the big city opened its doors to this poor peasant boy from the province, I started going out and indulged in bingeing. There were even times when I went home not knowing who took me home and how I got home because I was completely inebriated by Jose.

Those were the days when I was pretty reckless and all that was in my mind is having fun. I guess the consequence of your actions would really bite you in the ass sooner or later and would really catch up on you at the most unexpected time.

There was a time when I completely lost my mind because of too much drink that I started kissing randomly whoever it is that I get to touch my lips with. Well, there was this girl, oh no, scratch that. He was a guy dressed as a girl who joined our table because he knows one of the people in our table. I don't really know what happened but they told me the following day that I was snogging the gremlin out of a dare. Thank heavens I was still alive then!

The worst hasn't come still because the following day, he started texting me asking me out for a date. That was the time I died. I don't have the slightest intention of going out with someone who is too effeminate. He was very persistent and I don't see any reason why he should be but I ended up being on the defense. I think he finally got the message cause then he left me alone.

Just this afternoon I went to Ayala with my younger brother to buy something. The place was peopled with a lot of eye candies and I was secretly eyeing some while my brother was busy looking at some of the items inside a shop. I haven't gotten any sleep and I look like shit but for crying out loud of all people that I would likely come across that instant, it's the gremlin from hell!

I pretended I didn't see him but I guess I am pretty hard to miss because of my bald head. So he approached me and I immediately told him I am with my brother hoping that he would get a clue and walk away but no such luck. He stopped to chit-chat and even asked that it's been awhile since we last hang out?!? I died the second time around. We never hang out!

I gave him a quizzical look as if he just grew a second head then without a word, I walked away. Gawd! That was embarrassing! I wouldn't even consider letting my brother know that I engage in trysts with the same sex worst with a tranny!

And that is the reason why I ended up ranting here again because I am just annoyed until now with how stupid I could get sometimes but you see, I've learned my lesson and I am now sober for close to three months.

random musings

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , | Posted on 11:08 AM

7

After getting rowdy and sweaty, and after energies have been spent I stood up and immediately headed to the restroom to tidy myself. I would have loved to go drama junkie again, turn on the shower and bawl myself out all the while telling myself "and dumi dumi ko." Then I realized I'm way past that phase that it gets easier and easier to just get laid and be a one time whore. So no, I took a pass at it. This time too, I'm no one time whore as we have been meeting up for the nth time.

As I faced the showerhead and allowed the water to beat on my face, I realized that it's been a while since I last experienced something that transcends the climax I experience in the four corners of the bed. It's always been like that for quite some time now: rubber please, now lube, and then let's get ready to rumble. After pounding the poor flounder and everything has been spent, heartbeats return to normal and then the void returns.

After composing myself and parading across the room naked to grab my clothes, he looked at me and said: "hey, why don't you just spend the night here for a change?" Right! Then what? Be intimate and blur the line between being friends with benefits and something else? No way! "I can't I need to get going," I answered. I cannot and I will not allow you to go beyond what we are having right now.

On a different note, I just knew that a friend just got engaged. Well they're straight but hearing someone about to tie the knot is something envying. When will my time come and how long do I have to keep on playing the defense? I've been telling myself that it's time for me to make myself happy but I cannot just bring myself to fall for someone. For a lot of reasons so shoot me!

With a sigh, he opened the door and let me out. It's always been like that, I come and I go. "Thanks for coming," he said. I just smiled. I think a Thank You would be enough for now.

another boring night

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , | Posted on 12:18 PM

5

It's been a while since I last visited this page and I hope I didn't miss a lot. I would have wanted to rant about how pissed I am with work. The usual bitchin around about things but I realized I don't really have the right to as I am not doing anything about it. It would have been cool if I would grow the nerves to just walk out of my job and tell them to kiss my ass. But no, the chicken shit in me is telling my puny brains to just let it pass. So yeah, I will spare my page with all my rantings.

Anyway, I just got a call from a friend last night and he invited me over for videoke. And yes, this is about another broken hearted soul. Why is it that most of my friends go out singing their hearts out when they are shattered to pieces? Well it's really hard to deal with losing someone but the thing is, the losing part doesn't really exist so to speak. Mainly because the guy is not really into him and they are not really an item. Like no "them" but just he and he.

Nobody wants to be side-stepped with things they are good at and I am the major drama junkie not my friend. So when he started asking nobody in particular if he is crazy feeling like that for the guy, I answered him: "I know how it feels but there's no you and him. So just stop it!" And yes, he called the wrong set of people so he might as well punish his liver with more alcohol. Seriously, why is the love bug everywhere but near me? Or maybe it takes more than a bug to topple down a drama junkie.

Now I kind of lost track with the things I would like to talk about. So yeah, I guess this is my way of checking out and saying hi to the blogosphere. Hello netizens!

blah blah blah im ranting

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 5:32 AM

3

It never occurred to me how exhausting it is to help others who hit rock bottom. I am proud to say that at one point I was able to help someone who is completely lagging behind and see that someone soar and overrun others. What is happening right now is the complete opposite of before and the frustrating part is that person threw in the towel and decided to just stay at the bottom no matter how hard it is that you tug at his hands to bring him up to his feet.

It's just so taxing that every time I think of what had happened makes me feel that I didn't exert that much effort. That something was missing and that there's still something that I could have done as an intervention. I could only do so much but at the end of the day, it's still up to that person to rack himself with maturity to rise to the occasion and pick himself from where he stumbled. The saddest part though is being looked in the eye and told "You made a difference and you played your part well."

This job is eating the life out of me and this Messianic complex always kicks in at the most inconvenient time. What I have gotten into is something I never anticipated. Then again, that's where the interesting part kicks in.

I guess I should go back to watching UP for the umpteenth time to complete my weekend. Adventure is out there! The wilderness must be explored!

on a night when everyone was wearing yellow

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in , , , | Posted on 9:10 AM

10

I always deny it when people point their fingers at me and calls me evil. I instantaneously don on this innocent look, questioningly stare at the people around me and pretend I don't know what they are talking about. But tonight, tonight is the night I realized how mischievous I can get.

While having dinner with friends earlier, we talked about the security guard in the office who just recently passed away. The conversation got a good spin and before we knew it we were already talking about things that happened in the building. Not just ordinary things but instances and encounters with the supernatural beings.

I got goosebumps all over while my friend was talking about my previous team manager and how she encountered something spooky while working all by herself in the office. The security guard kept on dropping by to ask her if she is doing just fine. She of course answered that she is ok. The guard left the room and came back the second time after to see if all is well with her. That somehow made her think of something but she immediately brushed off the thought.

When she stepped out of the room to call it a day, she casually asked the guard why he kept on checking on her. She was then informed that there was a kid inside the room and it was playing behind her back. We all know 'bout the stories of building and its "inhabitants" and how some of them gets too frisky AND we all know that kids are not allowed at work.

Anyway, I was with Clipped on a Saturday night in the office to work on our monthly review. Then came another co-worker who's there to work on the same assignment as well. I decided to just go home since I am not in the mood to work and I'm being unproductive again. Before we parted ways, I told my other friend about the story of my team manager and I was holding back my laughter as her eyes grew wide in horror.

I don't know what has gotten into me but I didn't think that we will be leaving her all alone in the room. I just opened my mouth and told her the story while my insides hurt because I'm helping myself not to guffaw. She looked really scared and the moment we stepped out of the room she came out running calling for the guards.

I can get really silly sometimes that even now, while typing this I am still snickering. The way her eyes widened in horror and how she ran from the room screaming is still playing on my mind. Incidentally, the three of us were all wearing yellow. Hmmm.. I think the color yellow really triggered it. I'm no evil really. That was just me getting all sunny and happy because of the color of our shirts. I'm no meaniee.

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