to ricky the bastard.

Posted by eye_spy | Posted in | Posted on 12:13 AM

a night out with my friends is usually a night of bingeing and even a night of hanky panky. i could drown myself in alcohol but im telling you i could still be in control of myself. i am friends with jose cuervo and vodka is my playmate. the people im with could go wild and start dancing with god-knows-who and they could even liplock with you but dont ever make the mistake of treating me the same way. i am bitchy and i bite when im drunk.

ive seen you a couple of times before and i just knew that youre a friend of a friend. we got introduced and blah blah blah but you were so cocky and air headed i could have thrown a boulder at you to deflate your humongous head. you made the first mistake when you touch my bum in public and you should have gotten the clue when i wickedly smiled at you while twisting your hand. i am a flirt and i play the game better than you can. you're just a friend of one of my closest friends but that doesnt mean we are friends and you can start touching me. im telling you youre just another face that will drown when swallowed by the multitude at the pedestrian. luckily for you, you will still stand out next to shrek and donkey. you think youre smart but your moves were futile and instead of arousing my interest i could have puked on your face and farted with your nose up my ass if that were politically correct.

you played it cool but i was so not interested i was comatose the entire time while you were yapping about whatever. thank heavens the music was so loud i was having a hard time hearing your squeeky voice otherwise i could have bashed your head with the bottle of beer i was drinking on.

i wasnt really expecting it but you were still with us when its bye-bye time. we were scrunched inside my friends car and you made another move and put your hand on my lap. you are a stranger and im no friendly soul, i just pretended i was asleep. you asked if i am ok and i said yes and then you made another mistake. you fondled my bald head and said you had this penchant for skin-headed guys. you passed your phone and asked me to type in my number. fuck you!

you are not my friend and i could have gone after your neck and went for the kill but i reminded myself that i should from now on be nice even to bastards like you. instead of opening the door and shoving you out while the car is in motion i just smiled and told you im not interested and that im taken.

never ever make the mistake of making me feel like im an easy fuck cause i know my worth and i will break your scrawny neck right then and there. youre just lucky i was able to hold myself that night. dont play around with me. get a hint and get lost cause you wont be that fortunate the next time. i dont like people who are so touchy i make a fuzz at it and go berserk. keep your distance amigo. this bitch bites.

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